2204 E Locust St

What is shabby chic? I have no idea, but my marketing manager assures me if I write it enough times you'll rent this apartment. I told her you're much too savvy to fall for marketing Jedi tricks, that the classy person for whom this apartment was meant will gravitate to the INCREDIBLE natural light that these huge picture frame windows invites. Yet being on an upper floor affords you the privacy to finish your 100th straight Wordle victory in your 8th grade furry Snoopy slippers without being judged. If not the light, then perhaps the stunning (and I don't mince words, folks) remodeled kitchen will earn your heart. Imagine yourself perfecting grandma's sourdough loaf on your luscious quartz countertops as your ultra-classy friends sip on Chateauneuf du Pape at your pull up bar. Is baking sourdough still cool? It doesn't matter! People will assume you're cool and therefore whatever you do is cool because this apartment's location is to die for. Two blocks from the Union, Roast Cafe right outside your door, a 2 minute ride on your fixed gear hipster bike to Lake Park and Bradford Beach. Or hop in your car (yes, we have a private parking lot) to Whole Foods in 3 minutes for some more Chantilly cake and oysters. Plus FREE heat! That's serious oyster money, my friend. Pets? Sure. Laundry? Indeed. Hardwood floors? Mais oui. Good God, you sound so cool. I just have to meet you! Let's set up a showing, ok? Yours Truly, Shabby Chic